In remembrance of my Mam

It's been five years today since my mum passed away. Always in my thoughts. I'll always treasure her kindness and selflessness and the moral support she gave me. A good, gentle woman who deserved more happiness in her life than that which fate dealt her.

You can read more about her here if you're so inclined:
http://lewstringercomics.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/my-mam-1925-2013.html

I'll be having a quiet day of reflection today.

Memories

Remembering my mam on this Mother's Day as I do every day. A kind, gentle woman who was the best mother I could have wished for and my best friend. She always gave me the encouragement and support I needed to pursue my dreams. The photo I've chosen is from 1962 at Blackpool. 

Thinking too of those of you who have also lost your mums. It's not easy to cherish the happy memories without also remembering the sad times, so my thoughts are with you. 

The biggest influence of all

Blackpool, 1961.

It's a tough day, being the first Mother's Day since my mum passed away, but I couldn't let the day go by without posting something about her. I was extremely lucky in that my mum (or my mam as I always called her, as we do in these parts) had such a kind and gentle soul and was always supportive in everything I did. 

Mam bought me my first comics, taught me to read before I started school, and encouraged me to draw. I produced my own comics as a child, in biro on folded sheets of cartridge paper, and mam would stitch the pages together with needle and thread because we didn't have a stapler. When, at age 20, I quit my dead-end job, mam encouraged me in my ambitions to be a comic artist.

Blackpool, 1966.

We were always a small, close family. My dad had died suddenly in 1974 and mam never remarried. My Aunt Joan, who lived a street away, had slight learning difficulties so mam and I were always around to help or just give her guidance. Mam was devoted to looking after Joan, moreso as they grew older and Joan's arthritis affected her walking. Although I bought my own house in 1990 it was only a few minutes walking distance away so that I could help out too. 

Aunt Joan passed away in 2006, and mam's health deteriorated after then too, so caring for her increasingly took up more time as I'd see her several hours every day. Not that I minded. As you can appreciate from the few things I've mentioned here, I owe my mum everything. I would never have gained an interest in comics without her initial encouragement in my reading and drawing, and I would certainly never have pursued a career in comics without her unwavering support. She was not only my mother, she was my best friend, with a great sense of humour, always young at heart, and good company.

Mam, 1996.

As I posted here last year, mam died last May after a nasty fall in her kitchen (possibly caused by a stroke, but I'll never know for sure as the brain damage was too severe). No family left now. Having been so close to her all my life, the grief is still there every day. I know it's hard for some people who haven't been in that situation to understand such loss, or if they rarely see their parents, or have never been too close to them, but there are no rules when it comes to grieving. 

My mam, who never put herself first, who selflessly devoted her life to my grandad, my aunt, my dad, and me, would want me to keep going. So I carry on, because as I said, I owe her everything. 

Back to the drawing board

As regular readers of this blog will know, my mum sadly passed away three weeks ago after a stroke/fall. (Full story here.) The last several weeks have been the worst time of my life, and the grief will never completely fade of course. However, now that the funeral is over and I've finished clearing out mum's bungalow and the keys have been handed back to the council I have time to return to the drawing board again. 

Today I drew a Rasher strip (there it is in an early stage above) which should appear in The Beano in a few weeks. Tomorrow, another Rasher strip to catch up, then it'll be on with more You've Been Pranked pages (also for The Beano), an illustration job for a client, the return of a classic character for another client, and several pages for The Dandy Annual 2015. Having not earned anything for five weeks (except for that eBay sale) I need to really get moving again. 

I'd like to publicly thank the editors at D.C. Thomson, Aces Weekly, and Viz comic for being so understanding in allowing me time to grieve and sort the practical things out that one has to do when someone passes away. (I have no other family, so I had a lot to do.) Thanks folks for your professionalism and sincere compassion. 

I'd also like to thank my close friends in Nuneaton, Sue B, Nige, Mo, Mandy, Mark, Joanne, Al, Sue T, Gary G, Gary R, Linda, Andy, Josie, and all for their incredible support during these dark days, and to my many friends online and elsewhere (Lise, David L, Nigel, Mike C, Mike H, Angi, Debbie & Robbie and many more) for all their words of encouragement and sympathy. From the practical help of hospital trips or moving furniture, to simple messages of condolence, I assure you it's all helped to get me through this and has brought me great comfort. 

My Mam, 1925 - 2013

Mam and me, Blackpool 1967.

My apologies for not updating this blog for a couple of weeks. As some of you know, the last few years I've been dividing my time between work and caring for my mum who was housebound with arthritis and spondylosis. She was able to look after herself to an extent, and tried to be as independent as possible, but I'd help with meals, shopping, sorting out bills etc and generally keeping her company.

Sadly, on May 9th, when taking some shopping to her bungalow, I found her lying in the kitchen in a large pool of blood, having suffered a very nasty fall and head injury, possibly after a stroke. The prognosis at the hospital was bad. The neurosurgeon said the damage to her brain was too severe and only gave her 24 hours to live. Mum did show some sign of improvement though, and there was hope for a couple of days, but, as was originally feared, it became clear she would not recover.

The hospital staff at Universitry Hospital, Walsgrave, were excellent. They made mum as comfortable as possible and were very sympathetic. Knowing each day could be her last, I stayed by her bedside as long as I could. The accident had put mum into a state of semi-consciousness, like she was half awake, and she could no longer form words properly, so I don't know if her mind was in the present or wherever, but she did recognise me and tried to smile a couple of times when she saw me. I just sat beside her, talking to her of better, happier, days, of the pets we had, and the many holidays in Blackpool. And telling her how much she'd meant to me over the years. The good thing was she wasn't in any pain, and just looked comfortable and sleepy. 

Recent photo, 2013.

Mum fought bravely and survived for 11 days. I was with her 24/7 towards the end, as the staff had moved her to a side room and gave me a mattress and sheets so I could stay overnight. She passed away at 00.45am on Tuesday 21st May, very quietly and peacefully, with me holding her hand.

My mum's life had often been one of hardship and sorrow, but she dealt with it well, and never gave in. She was genuinely a good, kind person, supporting and devoted to her family throughout her life. She liked to be independent and kept herself to herself.  She was a very fair-minded person and tolerant of all people. As she always said, “There are good and bad in all races. Take each person as you find them.”

Mum had always been encouraging and supportive of me throughout my career, and earlier, when I used to draw my own comics as a child. I used to show her every comic strip I had published (except for the rude stuff like Viz) and she read every one, always looking for my signature afterwards. We often used to talk about times gone by, and she told me a lot about her life before I was born. She had decent moral values, and she was young at heart too, with a good sense of humour. Basically she was not only the best mum I could have wished for, she was my best friend too.

I have no family left now, so I have to adjust to a new normal life. Grief comes in waves, but hopefully, once the funeral is over, and I've cleared her council bungalow, I'll be back at the drawing board. 

Olive Stringer, 5th June 1925 - 21st May 2013. Rest in Peace now Mam. No more worries or stress.